The following was presented by Bhavesh Merja on http://www.aryasamaj.org/newsite/node/1462
This is Maharshi Dayanand’s account of what happened to him on Shivarathri (today observed as Rishi Bodhotsava by Vedic Hindus or Arya Samajis.
“As my father's was a banking house and held, moreover, the office - hereditary in my family - of a Jamadar, we were far from being poor, and things, so far, had gone very pleasantly. Wherever there was a Siva Puran to be read and explained, there my father was sure to take me along with him; and finally, unmindful of my mother's remonstrances, he imperatively demanded that I should begin practicing Parthiwa Puja (Idol-worship). When the great day of gloom and fasting - called Sivaratree - had arrived, this day following on the 13th of Vadya of Magh my father, regardless of the protest that my strength might fail, commanded me to fast, adding that I had to be initiated on that night into the sacred legend, and participate in that night's long vigil in the temple of Siva. Accordingly, I followed him, along with other young men, who accompanied their parents. This vigil is divided into four parts called praharas, consisting of three hours each. Having completed my task, namely, having sat up for the first two praharas, till the hour of midnight, I remarked that the Pujaris and some of the laymen devotees, after having left the inner temple, had fallen asleep outside. Having been taught for years that by sleeping on that particular night, the worshipper lost all the good effect of his devotion, I tried to refrain from drowsiness by bathing my eyes, now and then, with cold water. But my father was less fortunate. Unable to resist fatigue, he was the first to fall asleep, leaving me to watch alone.
Thoughts upon thoughts crowded upon me, and one question arose after the other in my disturbed mind. Is it possible - I asked myself, - that this semblance of man, the idol of a personal God, that I see bestriding his bull before me, and who, according to all religion accounts, walks about, eats, sleeps, and drinks; who can hold a trident in his hand, beat upon his dumroo (drum) and pronounce curses upon men, - is it possible that he can be the Mahadeva, the great Deity? The same who is invoked as the Lord of Kailasa, the Supreme Being and the divine hero of all the stories we read of him in the Puranas? Unable to resist such thought any longer, I awoke my father, abruptly asking him to enlighten me; to tell me whether this hideous emblem of Siva in the temple was identical with the Mahadeva (great god) of the Scriptures, or something else. "Why do you ask?" said my father. "Because," I answered, "I feel it impossible to reconcile the idea of an Omnipotent, living God, with this idol, which allows the mice to run over his body and thus suffers his image to be polluted without the slightest protest." Then my father tried to explain to me that this stone representation of the Mahadeva of Kailasa, having been consecrated by the holy Brahmans, became, in consequence, the god himself; and is worshipped and regarded as such; adding that as Siva cannot be perceived personally in this Kali Yug - the age of mental darkness, - hence we have the idol in which the Mahadev of Kailasa is imagined by his votaries; this kind of worship pleasing the great Deity as much as if, instead of the emblem, he were there himself. But the explanation fell short of satisfying me. I could not, young as I was, help suspecting misinterpretation and sophistry in all this. Feeling faint with hunger and fatigue, I begged to be allowed to go home. My father consented to it, and sent me away with a sepoy, only reiterating once more his command that I should not eat. But when, once home, I had told my mother of my hunger, she fed me with sweetmeats, and I fell into a profound sleep.
In the morning, when my father had returned and learned that I had broken my fast, he felt very angry. He tried to impress me with the enormity of my sin; but do what he could, I could not bring myself to believe that that idol and Mahadev were one and the same god, and, therefore, could not comprehend why I should be made to fast for, and worship the former. I had, however, to conceal my lack of faith, and bring forward as an excuse for abstaining from regular worship, my ordinary study, which really left me little or rather no time for any thing else. In this I was strongly supported by mother, and even my uncle, who pleaded my cause so well that my father had to yield at last and allow me to devote my whole attention to my studies.”
[Reference: Autobiography of Swami Dayananda, first time published in “The Theosophist” edited by Madam H. P. Blavatsky, Vol. I., No. 1 – Oct - 1879 issue.]
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